Dear Lance Armstrong,

I saw that you broke your collar bone. I'm writing to let you know that you're not alone because I feel your pain. Rather, I felt your pain.

The recovery is not fun and it will drive you crazy. Sleeping will be painful, showering a b****, training next to impossible, and don't even ask about wiping post-#2. You opted to have a plate and screws inserted at the break. So, you won't have the pleasure of feeling your new bone ends rubbing against each other like me. Wuss.

You shaved your legs, put on skin tight spandex, went for a leisurely bicycle ride. You girl. I, on the other hand, was playing a real man's sport with the big boys, football, when I broke my collarbone.

Try to stay positive and remember what it's all about. You may say it's all about cancer awareness, others may say it's the glory, but we all really know it's just the little yellow stuffed lion from le Tour.

You and you and your cuddle buddy

Hope you feel better soon. Let me know if you want any recovery advice. Or advice on how to be more tough.

Brian

[Note: This is satire and I'm not even qualified to carry Lance's jock chamois]

[Update:  Lance already started training again...3 days after his crash. That's pretty tough.]

What's Your First Thought When Your Collar Bone Snaps?

great question...hypothetically...terribly painful when my collar bone actually broke.

THANK YOU OVER-ZEALOUS-TWO-HAND-TOUCH-FOOTBALL-PLAYER-GUY! (this isn't a Bud Light commercial)

what does this have to do with "the mental physical challenge"? glad you asked...because the first real thought i had (other than my shoulder is dislocated so i'll rotate it a couple times to be sure...OUCH...don't try that at home) was that i won't be able to run a marathon. if i were a marathoner, this would make sense...but i pretty much HATE RUNNING!

i was scheduled to do my first triathlon the very next weekend with Kevin...so i had been running some to train for that...but the farthest i ever went was a slim shady less than 5 miles. of the three events, running was definitely my least favorite to train for...because....it's.........so................boring!

some people say they love running because they either zone out...or get in the zone (autozone?)...i personally prefer the zone blitz. biking offers thrilling speeds and ever changing scenery while swimming requires alot of concentration on technique...but running...what is there? left foot...right foot...left foot...don't trip. if there's a ball involved, i can run all day...but running by itself offers the same mindless, repetitve, boringness over and over.

the subconcious was trying to tell me something. with running a marathon being the first thing i thought of when OZTHTFPG came into my life, i'm listening. finishing a marathon is now one of my life goals.

if only my first post-continous-collar-bone thought had been..."i won't get to taste homebrew" or "i won't get to watch the Cleveland Browns win the superbowl".